Dear Anal Advisor:

After a long night (or weekend) of intense anal play, usually culminating in anal fisting, my ass feels worn out, sore, and sometimes it even stings a little. Do you have any advice for caring for it after such a workout?

Thanks in advance,
Ass Needs TLC

Dear Ass Needs TLC:

We've all been there: your ass has taken such a good reaming, you feel that you might never sit down again. First, a few days of rest are in order to give your butt a chance to reflect on all the festivities. Next, I recommend a fabulous product that I never leave home without: Preparation H or Tucks brand Hemorrhoidal Wipes, pre- moistened wipes with witch hazel and aloe. I like the Preparation H wipes better because they are about twice the size. Many drugstores also carry the generic or in-store brand which contain the exact same ingredients but is a lot cheaper. They are cool, soothing, and almost immediately calm an itchy, sore, or irritated butthole. They are also great on a well-used pussy!