Wife wants double team (help)

[dudeinlove]

Hey all,

I've been part of this community off and on for a while. With the guidance you all have given I've gotten to give my fiancee the pleasure of Anal sex for the first time. And she's become an adict ever since.
But that is not my quandary today.

No today I come to you with a question about that other fantasy. the three way more specifically the two men and a woman three way. For the past month or so me and my fiancee have spoken about a third partner possibly for sex and possibly for a relationship. She has told me that she wants to experience me with another girl and me with another guy. like most guys i'm okay with the other girl part, but the other guy part is making me nervous. I fooled around with guys when i was younger but decided that I wanted women instead. So it's not discomfort about sexual identity but rather about trusting another man.

I'm not sure if I can trust another man with my fiancee. But I want to make her happy and whenever she talks about me and another guy double teaming her, she get's really happy (and horny). I've been thinking about this for a few weeks and i'm still nervous.

I guess what I'm asking for is advice on how to approach this situation. I'd also like to hear about other guys who have been in my situation and either decided to go for it or not.

I like the Idea of it sometimes, and then other times the idea makes me freak out and get scared.

Any help would be appreciated.

[ClayFace]

Hi, dude. Did you happen to get my message? Thanks.

[dutch]

It depends on whether or not you are insecure in your relationship with your fiance and yourself.
You are lucky that you are in situation that would allow you go there without too much baggage.
If you are insecure about loosig your fiance to another guy, or aren't willing to do anything with another guy, then don't do it.
If she wants to do it, then why not? Don't be all hung up about the other guy and enjoy it for what it is. Does that bother you?
You said that she is also open to a FFM threesome. Does that include her doing things with the other woman? Maybe she would like to see you and the other guy do things in the same respect.
Finding the right person is one of the key elements too.
The reason I suggest you go for it, is that it sounds like she would like to experience 2 guys and would probably do it without you if she really wanted the experience.

[anophile]

One approach you might consider is to establish a friendship with another guy (both you and your fiancee) with the idea that it may eventually lead to a 3-way. You and your fiancee should both have a veto. Before you get to actual sex, you and your fiancee might want to spend some nude social time with the guy, perhaps in a hot tub or at a nudist facility. If the relationship becomes trusting enough then proceed to sex. Since you fooled around with guys when your were younger, you're obviously not turned off by other guys. You might consider being sexual with the other guy yourself during the 3-way. This might give the situation a sense of balance for you. Good luck and let us know what happens.

[dudeinlove]

Well thanks for the advice so far.
here's some answers.

In terms of spiritual beliefs. neither my fiancee or I believe in any specific higher power so we don't have any spiritual baggage to deal with.

In the realm of a FFM set up my fiancee wants to do things with the other girl and she knows that I don't want to do anything with the other guy. and she's okay with it. It's not because i'm affraid of anything "gay" I just don't have an interest.

I know that most guys are very posessive of their women and i'm no exception but I think that it would be a fun experience.

so I hope that answers some questions.

[DMXI4208]

What about a strap on that allows for you to DP her without the need for another person in the picture? Might be an easy way to see if this is really something you want to pursue.

[newbuttgrrl]

I have found myself in a little bit of a different situation. My guy wants to be with me and another woman, as well as wanting to having a threesome with another guy. I am the one who isn't too sure about having another guy there. I would feel too outnumbered I think. But I am intrigued by the idea. I have not been with anyone who was so open minded about sex so the concept of me being with two guys hadn't even been on my radar!

We did have a situation one night where it was us with another couple but it basically ended up being a swap with no actual intercourse. It was a mess actually. It wasn't planned and it was fueled by all of us being really...drunk. We established an understanding that we weren't going to do *that* again.

[dudeinlove]

I think i'm going to do it if I have the chance. but i know what you mean about the feeling of being overwhelmed/outnumbered. When i'm not horny I really don't feel like doing it but when I'm actually having sex with my fiancee and I think about it, the Idea doesn't seem so bad.

[ClayFace]

What I've been trying to understand is why do married couples feel they should include a 3rd party or more in their marriage bed? With all due respect, how can jealousy not be imminent? Could it be that the couple is no longer satisfied with just each other?

[freakyboy]

Originally Posted by ClayFace

What I've been trying to understand is why do married couples feel they should include a 3rd party or more in their marriage bed? With all due respect, how can jealousy not be imminent? Could it be that the couple is no longer satisfied with just each other?

Very immature perspetive. If anything it allows 2 people to share something new together. If you're really jealous over it, there're trust issues in the relationship that are more fundamental than the issue of a 3 way. If that's the case, no you shouldn't invite others into your bed.