In early March, I flew to Jamaica to serve as a judge for the finals of Reality X: The Search for Adam & Eve.  As you may recall, I was a judge in New York and wrote about it for the Voice (Erection Selection). I was excited when they asked me back to judge the finals! The entire cast and crew stayed at the infamous resort Hedonism III, and we shot at a house about a half hour away. I wish I could tell you about all the insanity, absurdity, sexual escapades, and general debauchery. Some of it will be in a future column for the Voice. Some of it you'll have to actually wait and see on the 6 episode pay-per-view porno reality show (which debuts May 13 on the iN-DEMAND Networks). And some of it, well, it will remain only in my memories in order to protect the guilty, the innocent, and the, um, insane. Here's what I can say:

I am madly in love with the co-host of the show: Adam & Eve contract girl Carmen Luvana, who I truly believe is one of the best kept secrets in porn. She's bright, funny, sexy, and has a really good head on her shoulders, which I can't say about every woman in porn. I loved hanging out with her, sucking on her nipples, watching her work tirelessly. My favorite quote of the week came when I flashed everyone my breasts at the bar. Carmen said, "Honey, if I had a dick, I'd be smackin' it against your tits right now." Love her! I spent hours in a tiny room in front of a monitor critiquing all the contestants with two great gentlemen: Dan, the editor of Genesis (a skin mag that features porn stars) and Rich, the publisher of Complex (a men's mag with an urban edge). I was amused on an hourly basis by PR & sales phenoms Katy Zvolerin, Jason Hoke and Brian Gross, truly some of the funniest people in the universe. I saw some damn fine performances from the contestants (almost all of whom were amateurs), and came away loving Halcyon & Tassy from Pinkgasm and crazy Joe from Delaware. More on them later. While I was in Jamaica, it was Tey's Birthday. Happy Birthday, Tey! The next day, it was Nina's Birthday. Happy Birthday, Nina!